I was in panic in just the thought of it.
I would change my plans.
I would say not today.
I would feel sad.
I would feel low.
I would think, is my son missing out.
All of these emotions sound familiar to you, when you have child?
I would say so, but what’s even worst is when you refuse to use public transport and stay in the same area to avoid meeting friends.
Why aren’t I independent anymore?
What has happened?
Did I loose my independence having a baby?
Maybe I did…Like when ? Why?
Maybe it started here…being judgemental.
I didn’t mean to judge but we all do, Don’t we?
When I see mums getting frustrated at their child because they are misbehaving. I know I’ve been there and I’m sure “you” have too. It adds more pressure to the situation.To top it off then we have others staring at us, making us feeling like a rubbish mums. That’s something that always plays on my mind and I just can’t get over. I was nervous about being “that mum” who’s goes all red and has “that ” screaming child.
To be honest, why should we care about what others think and why do we do it to other mums?
Why do we take on the stupid added pressure?
Before having my son, I have never be the kind of person who felt restricted to go anywhere or do anything but having a baby and travelling on tubes and trains just made me panic.
How would I deal moving from platform to platform?
Will anyone help?
Will my baby just scream and will people stare at me, judge me as a bad mother. Even writing this makes me go red in anxiousness.
Until one magical day (when my son was 1 year and half ), I literally pull myself together and said “Sophie YOU CAN DO IT ” I got myself and my son ready and I thought that’s it let’s go. What is stopping me?! So what if I’m alone? I packed grapes in a sandwich bag and took he’s favourite chocolate Yazoo along with other munchies and off we went. My heart was pumping and I was talking to my son the whole way to the train station. I wasn’t even sure if he understood but I was going yap away and not stop until I felt comfortable to do so.
So my Oyster card is topped up and I’m on platform. I would say it was a perfect start to a new adventure with my bundle of joy…I have never looked back and now I’m hopping on/off like a bunny.